If fitness classes at my gym actually looked like this, I would consider attending. I mean, did you see the space they are working with? That is a full-sized basketball court. They must have so much room for activities! Nothing like the low-ceilings and cramped spaces of my shitty city gym.
Also the girls are wearing leg warmers, which I think has wrongfully gone out of style in America.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
Running is not recommended, but if you must do Cardio:
.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
Grantland - This 10-minute movie focuses on the years before Arnold Schwarzenegger was the “Universe’s Perfect Specimen,” when the young Austrian seized upon an opportunity to use the sport of bodybuilding to catapult himself to international stardom.
This 10-minutes movie focuses on the awesomeness of The Arnold. As a dedicated meathead, I respect, admire, and envy the “do whatever it takes” attitude that Arnold brought with him everywhere. I would like to try and emulate that mindset, but Arnold was on another planet with this shit: In Pumping Iron, he describes ‘not attending his father’s funeral because it was too close to a competition.’
However, it is clear that the directors of Arnold’s Blueprint, The Two Escobars, wanted us to takeaway an important message from this film: Arnold had a motherfucking TANK equipped with DUMBBELLS.
You can go to the most hardcore fucking underground gym in the world, but it will never be a tank. NEVER. Prove me wrong.
-Tony “Tank Gym” Muscoli
Lou Ferrigno
Height: 6’5”
Weight: 285lbs.
Flavio Baccianini
Height: 4’11”
Weight: 145lbs.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
This shirt is a NEED TO HAVE.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
Ain’t It Cool News - Pair Mark Wahlberg and The Rock up as a couple of idiot bodybuilders in Miami who get caught up in extortion and kidnapping that goes all bad, and what do you get? What is most likely Michael Bay’s cheapest film to date.
Holy. Fucking. Boner. I’ve never waited in a line to see a movie premier ever. I just don’t care enough. I’ll wait a week or two until the crowds die down and go and see it when I don’t have to waste my time sharing my armrests with movie buffs and comic book nerds. But, on April 26th, 2013, Tony Muscoli will be first-in-fucking-line at AMC to see this movie.
This explains all those awesome pictures we’ve seen recently of Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson hitting the gym together!
.
Haters are gonna hate on this movie, Two Scoopers are beat up the haters, watch the movie, and then buy the Limited Edition Extended Version DVD Box Set of Pain & Gain - twice.
Is 7 months prior too early to reserve my tickets on Fandango?
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
Thanks to Walter K. for the tip.
I love Cushing’s attitude! At first it seems like Brian is a big, dumb asshole, but the more you watch and listen to him, the more you like him. All this guy wants to do is get big, hit people, and have fun doing it.
Just look at this fucking meathead:
His jawline makes him look like a neanderthal, while his hat positioning gives him just the right amount of douche.
What gives you the most respect for this guy though, is his helmetless headbutt:
He was getting shoved around, he didn’t fight back, but he got right up in the other guy’s face like “fuck you. I play the game, and I don’t take no shit.”
Brian Cushing is my new favorite meathead.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
Did you want to get a motion sickness boner while staring at hippies with abs? Well too bad, you got one.
This looks like a fun party. I bet a Two Scooper’s biceps would clean up here. See you in 2013?
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
YouTube Description - I passed out. Huge knot on the back of my head.
Have you ever wondered how you can look THE MOST badass at the gym? You can start by moving some heavy ass weight on major compound lifts. A big bench, squat, or deadlift never fails to impress. But how do you take that shit to the next level? How do you rise above? Combo moves, that’s how.
Olympic lifts are a great example of a Compound Lift Combo Move. If you can Clean and Press multiple plates, you will look pretty massif in your average gym because most meatheads are easily confused by feats of strength that require any level of athleticism.
That is why real meatheads need to invent powerlifting combo moves that require less coordination and technique than something like the Shot Put, or traditional Olympic lifts. Instead, a skilled meathead will utilize a compound lift combo move that substitutes in Brute Strength and Badassery for Athleticism and Coordination.
Like this guy, who deadlifts 538lbs then passes the fuck out. Some of you naysayers might say, “but Tony, passing out isn’t badass! It shows he can’t handle the weight.”
To which I reply, “Did you see how fucking fast that chick was all over him after he passed out? Yea. Badass.”
You don’t see girls running over to swoon over guys who complete a set then head over to the fountain for a sip of water do you? No, you don’t.
Combo Moves gentlescoopers, they are the way of the future.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
Deadlift to Pass-Out Combo Move on SpotMeBro.com.
First Look-Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning
YUUUUUUUPPP. Tony love this shit. Any sequel to an old “B” action movie will get my ass in the theaters, or at least I’ll rent it On Demand, or in the very least I’ll find it online and watch it for free, but I WILL fucking watch this shit.
Dolph Lundgren is a model of Aryan meatheadedness and will always be the perfect villain.
And, even at 51 years old, Jean-Claude Van Damme continues to fight the stereotype that all Frenchmen are pussies. Granted he is actually from Belgium, but with a name like Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg, he might as well be French.
I hope Hollywood gets their act together and starts filming sequels to Commando and Running Man next.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
Carla Gutierrez tanning. The contrast is striking. I really like how the sunlight reflects off of her well-oiled boob striations and adds a soft glow to the underexposed midsections of the fat, old people sitting in the background.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
This picture of Phil Heath takes on a whole new meaning when you slap a Brazzers logo on it.
Marshawn Lynch is a beast. His teeth say so:
He definitely took his two scoops that morning and he truly is redefining the word: ‘determination.’ But more importantly, we need to get this guy commentating for NBC.
"Darren Sharper HOLD MA DICK!"
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
Curling in the Squat Rack is silly. That just isn’t what the squat rack was made for.
It doesn’t allow for proper form; you can see in the illustration above that the Skip has no room to follow through on his shot.
Lesson learned? Don’t curl in the squat rack.
…Unless you can can lift some heavy-ass weights. Because if you can curl more than most squat, then you can do whatever the fuck you want:
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
That video had that awkward feel to it, like when you ask a prude girl to talk dirty to you. “What Tony? You know that isn’t really my thing”
“Common girl, try it.”
”Uh, OK. Ooooh yea that feels good. Give me your penis.”
“Nevermind.”
Same awkward feeling feeling here. The shit Ginger was saying just wasn’t really doing it for me:
"Watch my Bi’s as they *ffff…* pump up."
But then I got a better look at this girl: the tit tattoo, her other videos and pictures online, and I realized that this girl has DEFINITELY talked dirty before. For sure she is a Champion Dirty Talker in the sack. Martin probably slaps you around a little and calls you a “bad little boy” as she is attaching a strap-on to her garter belt.
"I’m feeling the veins coursing through my bicep."
I present to you this photo as Exhibit A:
I just think it is really, really difficult to make your huge lady-muscles sound sexy, but I’ll give Ginger an ‘A’ for Effort.
"As I work them I feel them getting tighter."
This video of Ginger Martin doing curls kind of reminds me of that Pumping Iron clip where Arnold is talking about “The Pump.” The similarities are striking actually. Both Ginger and Arnold are making bicep curls overtly sexual, they are both ripped. The only difference is that standing next to Arnold would emasculate you, but standing next to Ginger would straight up make your dick smaller.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
BPISports.net - BPI Sports, the mind and body behind EXT and IMAGE Sports, along with four-time Mr. Olympia winner, Jay Cutler, are proud to announce a joint entrepreneurial contract. This new deal, the first of its kind will allow Cutler to endorse select BPI, EXT and IMAGE Sports’ products, while at the same time, provide Cutler a significant equity stake in the upcoming, not-yet-released “Jay Cutler Signature Series” product line set to debut in 2013.
In this video, Jay’s amazing acting ability is used to announce a new deal that will make him the BPI Sports poster boy on his run at the 2013 Mr. Olympia title.
He will drive around in this awesome truck and take supplements, and tell you to take supplements too, and all will be right in the world.
At the ripe age of 39, it will be interesting to see if Jay can reclaim his title as Mr. Olympia. Obviously, now that he is sponsored by the makers of “the #1 creatine on the planet,” he is pretty much a shoe in (assuming BPI are also the #1 makers of HGH).
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
Tony’s article on SpotMeBro: Jay Cutler Signs Deal with BPI Sports
Speaking of mini-meatheads, check out this Napoleon Complexed Alpha Midget. He says, “if you are going to try and showboat in my grill with your mediocre ball handling skills, I am going to knock you on your ass.”
Good for you kid. You just earned yourself the title of Honorary Two Scooper. Big muscles, big hits, and badassery will get you far in life. If we put some size on this kid, he would have D1 written all over him. Let’s just hope he pays attention in class at Johns Hopkins because the MLL isn’t exactly a lucrative endgame.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
