This is one parking sign I would actually obey.
-Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli
This is truthiness.
(Source: demgainzzz)
Yea just… so… what the fuck. Guys, I don’t even… the physics don’t… Is it… ?reverse grip snatch?..Photoshop? .Hallucination? Dementia? Steroids? Fake plates? 7x Mr. Olympia? AHHHHHNOLD!
-Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli
If you’ve never heard me say it, I’ll say it again: you can only curl in the squat rack if you are going to rep two plates or more. We are talking a 135 pound minimum…
CT Fletcher is allowed to curl in the squat rack. In fact, CT Fletcher is allowed to do whatever he wants really, because I sure as hell ain’t going to get in his way. I wasn’t even talking shit, but I still got scared when I was sitting on the couch blogging and he says, "what the fuck you gone do besides sit on the couch and talk shit? You hip-having ass, you punk poop butt motherfucker." I am not entirely sure what his insult was, but it sounded like “punk poop butt motherfucker," and it sounded fucking mean. Black people are so cool.
The man is a beast:
.
That should give you an idea as to who CT Fletcher is, and if you don’t like it, than “fuck you."
-Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli
24-year-old Moustafa Ismail was recently crowned the man with the World’s Biggest “Upper Arms" at 31 inches.
Moustafa attributes his success to 3lbs of chicken, 1lbs of steak or fish, and four cups of almonds washed down with two gallons of water and three liters of protein shakes. Or in his words, “I eat a lot of like, protein, and like, you know, I like my this my nutri-, this like my nutrition."
"I eat a lot of like, protein, and like, you know, I like my this my nutri-, this like my nutrition." -Moustafa Ismail
Elegant, elegant words Moustafa. This guy has looks AND charisma, ladies watch out - Big Mo has it all…
Aight, let’s be real for a second. Does this chub really think his reverse-Popeye arms are anything but laughable? He said he is doing this to “look better, and to like, it’s a good feeling." Does he really think he “looks better?" Does all that synthol in his arms really make him “feel better?"
Moustafa denies the use of implants or oils, saying “the real is, I did da, the tests, the ultrasound test, I did the X-ray test, I did a blood test, uuuh which prove I have nothing unnatural."
OK bro, because having a 4-to-1 ratio of upper-arm to forearm is all genetics. And I suppose his 500 lbs Bench Press is what gave him tennis balls for triceps?
Whatever, I’ll let him have his 15 minutes, but just some food for thought, Moustafa: really fat people have big arms too.
-Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli
"I am smiling because you are about to watch me do more curls in one set then you have done in your lifetime.”
Check out this guy curling in the squat rack! What an asshole! Anybody who knows anything about something knows The Two Scoops Rule of Curling in The Squat Rack:
Though shalt not curl in the squat rack, unless thoust is curling 135+ lbs.
They have little barbell bars in 10lb increments over by the dumbbells for weak people, so unless you reppin’ 135, stay out the cage bro.
So who does this guy think he is, stepping into the squat rack to curl a 40lb axle bar for 10 reps?… OK 15 reps… 20? 30 reps… Why isn’t he stopping? 40 reps sweet Jesus man slow down you are going to hurt yourself 50 REPS WTF?!?!
OK… the craziest workout I have ever seen in Muscle & Fitness was called the “Century Lift" where you did 100 reps of an exercise, this guy must be doing that right? I should cheer him on, “Light weight baby!" 97… 98… 99… 100. NICE WORK BRO!
You said your name was Derek Poundstone? Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were still going… 130… 131… 132…
So you are one of the strongest men in the world you say? 167… 168… 169…
I take it your lack of response, and the fact that you just did 200 curls in a row, that you ARE one of the strongest men in the world? 201… 202… 203…
Should I come back later? 240… 241… 242…
You are a sick, sick asshole Poundstone, you know that? 288… 289… 290…
Do you feel the burn yet? 330… 331… 332…
Fuck you, Derek. 348… 349… 350.
Oh NOW you are done? Are you sure? Why not go for 400 reps, pussy. Thanks to you, some of us have been waiting in line for 10 minutes to use that cage you just monopolized. Was it really worth showing everyone in the world what a sick motherfucker you are? You make me want to go crawl into a hole and crasterbate for being so simultaneously turned on and humiliated from watching that video.
This has to be the most devastating thing you could possibly do to your arms. Complete and utter annihilation of the bicep. I’d be impressed if he could lift his shaker cup to his mouth after that set.
pound·stōn kûrlz. Noun.
.
I have to try this. I’ll let you know how it goes.
-Tony “Too Many Curls" Muscoli
"20 minutes a day, 3 days a week, and you’ll have a body like Hochuli."
Ed Hochuli is quite possibly the most famous official in America. Why? Because he is huge.
Yes, he will make the occasional long-winded penalty explanation that will bring about a few laughs on SportsCenter, but nobody laughs at him for the real reason he is famous: his barrel chest and massif biceps.
It is as simple as that, there is no joke in this post, just: Get huge like Hochuli, get noticed. End of story.
-Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli
P.S. It’s nice watching a weekend of football with the real refs.
Curling in the Squat Rack is silly. That just isn’t what the squat rack was made for.
It doesn’t allow for proper form; you can see in the illustration above that the Skip has no room to follow through on his shot.
Lesson learned? Don’t curl in the squat rack.
…Unless you can can lift some heavy-ass weights. Because if you can curl more than most squat, then you can do whatever the fuck you want:
-Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli
Check out this dude’s forearm!
As The World’s Foremost Expert on Forearm Vascularity, Muscularity, and Proportionism, I can confidently say that this forearm is relatively ideal in terms of size and asthetics for your average 18-36 year-old male looking to impress bitches whilst wearing a (sleeveless) T-shirt.
Let’s zoom in on that aforementioned musculature:
…enhance…
…enhance…
Very nice. Notice how the overall appearance is not too big, not too small, well developed towards the joint, with moderate vascularity throughout. Take notes Two Scoopers, this is the type of forearm asthetics you men should be striving for.
Now, let’s zoom back out again…
…De-enhance…
…De-enhance…
…De-enhance…
…De-enhance…
…
Oh, what the fuck.
-Tony “Me Too Horny" Muscoli
