PumpUps.com provides a supplement trial service. For a monthly fee of $10, you are sent a package of supplement samples: 6 different supplements for a total of 10-12 sample packs.
Pump Ups sent me a sample of their product offering and asked for my two scoops on it. I warned them I would give my (brutally) honest opinion, and they shipped it anyway - good for them, they got balls.
Note: I am reviewing Pump Ups as a service, not the supplement samples they send.
PumpUps Arrive
The package arrives in this bubble wrap envelope emblazoned with the PumpUps logo. Like any package you get in the mail, it is exciting. It is kind of like you are getting a present that somebody forgot to wrap, except you know this present is supplements. And if you love supplements as hard as I do, then getting supplements in the mail makes you feel like a little kid waiting at the top of the stairs on Christmas morning… fucking rock hard.
I dumped my PumpUp out onto my coffee table and was generally please with the shiny packaging and the poster with boobs:
Pump Ups Contents (June 2012)
NO-Xplode 2.0
Description: Pre-workout (powder)
Number of Sample Packets: 1
Servings per Packet: 1.5
Flavor: Fruit Punch
Inner Armour BCAA Peak
Description: Pre/Intra/Post-workout amino acids (powder)
Number of Sample Packets: 2
Servings per Packet: 1
Flavor: Watermelon
Cytosport Monster Milk
Description: Post-workout protein/carbs/creatine/BCAA. “Mass gainer." (powder)
Number of Sample Packets: 1
Servings per Packet: 1
Flavor: Graham Cracker
P28 Bread
Description: High-protein bread (bread)
Number of Sample Packets: 1
Servings per Packet: 0.5
Flavor: Bread?
High Energy Labs Electro Amino
Description: Pre/Intra/Post-workout amino acids (chewable tablet)
Number of Sample Packets: 2
Servings per Packet: 0.25
Flavor: Fruit Punch Sidewalk Chalk?
Myogenix After Shock
Description: Post-workout protein/carbs/creatine/BCAA. “Mass gainer." (powder)
Number of Sample Packets: 1
Servings per Packet: 0.5
Flavor: Pina Colada
Product Inventory Card
High Energy Labs Electro Amino Product Flyer
Inner Armour BCAA Peak Product Flyer
Myogenix Thermal Core Product Flyer
Pump Ups Supplement Samples Trial
Now that I have all these supplements, it is time to get fucking swollen.
Pump Ups Supplement Trial Day:
12:30pm - I use the P28 Bread to make my sandwich for lunch. The bread actually doesn’t taste half bad, especially after spending a couple days in shipping. It is a little chewy, but that is to be expected. You have to have a little give-and-take when you are cramming 14 grams of protein into a slice of bread.
4:00pm - 1 Scoop of my regular whey protein in preparation of my afternoon workout.
5:00pm - I take the 1.5 Serving packet of NO-Xplode 2.0 and fart almost immediately, as is tradition.
5:20pm - I am feeling pretty good from my pre-workout, but since we were 0.5 servings away from a full two scoops, there is room for improvement. I chew on one of the High Energy Labs Electro Amino chewable tablets and the taste of sidewalk chalk inspires me to properly hydrate before my workout.
A serving size of Electro Aminos is 4 tablets, but there is only 1 tablet in a sample pack. Luckily, 1/4 of a serving of shitty Tums is all I really feel like stomaching at this point.
5:30pm - Blast Pecs
6:30pm - Mix packet of Graham Cracker flavored Cytosport Monster Milk with 8oz of Skim Milk. Consume. It tastes like somebody blended soggy Graham Crackers into milk, so I guess the flavor is relatively on point? For all these protein/BCAA post-workouts, all you really have to go on is taste and bowel movements when you are sampling, so I’d say that Monster Milk was a success considering it did taste as advertised. Although, I learned I would probably just stick with a simple chocolate flavor if I was to go out and actually purchase this product (I won’t).
6:45pm - I take the 2nd of the High Energy Labs Electro Amino chewable tablets. It still tastes like sand.
The rest of the samples are also BCAA post-workouts, so they will have to wait for another day.
8:47pm - Poop. Oh god, I pooped. Usually the NO-Xplode shits happen shortly after consumption so I am surprised I lasted this long, but this is NO-Xplode 2.0 - for Insane Muscle Pumps and Advanced Strength Delayed-Onset Diarrhea. I am talking shirt off, sweat-beading-up-on-my-forehead, consistency-similar-to-that-of-wet-concrete shit. My guess is that my digestive system was not accustomed to all the superfluous garbage ingredients Monster Milk has in it compared to my straight Whey. Between the healthy portion of Graham Cracker Monster Milk, and the NO-Xplode primer, my asshole had decided to punish me.
I had a date at 9 o’clock that I had to cancel, while pooping, via text, because I was glued to the porcelain.
I am not kidding.
Tony’s Two Scoops on PumpUps.com
Pros
- Getting supplements in the mail is exciting. Getting supplement samples once-a-month makes it feel like you have a monthly bodybuilding birthday.
- You get exposure to new supplements you might not have thought of before. I have had P28 Bread before, but most people haven’t, and it is a pretty cool product for those sick of eating rice and potatoes. And if you find a new supplement you might not have normally, then this service has done its job.
- The sample packets are easy to transport. It is nice to have the packets laying around to throw in your gym bag in case you know you won’t have access to your regular tub of supplements later in the day.
- SWAG. As strange as it was to receive a Thermal Core product flyer without actually receiving a sample of Thermal Core, it still makes for some great dorm room wallpaper:
Cons
- The actual number of samples was less than advertised. The website claims they ship 6 supplements (10-12) samples. My package only contained 8 actual samples, with a total of 6 servings.
- Flyer didn’t match product samples. I have this awesome flyer, with this sexy babe on it telling me to get shredded with Thermal Core, except I can’t try the product advertised. Instead, I have to resort to masturbating to a fucking supplement flyer… sad.
- Except for pre-workouts, it is hard to judge the effectiveness of a supplement with only a 1 or 2 day supply. There isn’t really anything PumpUps.com can do about this, but all you can really judge post-workouts on is taste (and bowel movements, apparently). I guess this is still better than buying a full tub of the stuff before realizing it tastes like a dog’s asshole.
.
Final Word
I, Tony Muscoli, would recommend trying PumpUps.com (I wasn’t paid to say that).
$10 a month is nothing, just buy one less girl a drink at the bar, and in return you receive a bunch of shiny supplement sample packets that you can use to deck out your supplement collection. I would pay for 2-3 months, see how you like it - see if you are finding any new supplements you like.
If you find a new supplement you like, now you can go spend your hard-earned money on it. P28 Bread, for example, would be something I would be happy I found.
On the contrary, if you find out that you really don’t like a supplement you had been considering spending money on, you might have just saved yourself some $cratch. For example, I might have considered buying Monster Milk this winter when I wanted to start bulking up again. However, now I know that if I did that, my asshole would hate me - and I’ve saved myself the $70 I would have spent on a 4lb tub of post-workout laxative.
Try it. Why not? If after 3 months your supplement purchasing decisions haven’t been affected either way, then save your $10 and put it towards the supplement stack you know works for you.
Get Pumped.
-Tony"Too Pumped Up" Muscoli
