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Posted at 9:03am
Reblogged (Photoset reblogged from strongblrslinger)
Tagged Chicken Protein

 


Dips with 5 Plates

This guy is doing dips with 5 plates. Have you ever seen dips performed with 5 plates? Does having that much weight between your legs make your dick feel bigger, or smaller? Is the amount of plates you can dip relative to one’s testicular heft?

Did I mention this guy is doing dips with 5 plates? It is strange because logically it doesn’t really make all that much sense. Let me try to work through this…

Scientifical Proof:
Forearm vein visibility given paleness of skin makes insane dip strength plausible.

Mathematical Disproof:
Bodyweight + (45lbs x 5) = 450+ lbs = WTF?

Optical Proof:
His shirt says “WOLFPACK" on the back, which makes insane dip strength plausible.

I feel small.

-Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli

 


Liz Molano - Two Scooper Spotlight

Speaking of lady Two Scoopers, check out Elizabeth Molano. She has been a friend of the Site for while now and when your Uncle Tony here started creeping her Facebook, he asked if she wanted to be featured on Two Scoops.

Liz competed in her first competition in November at the WNBF Monster Mash - I assume the show is named after the tits of the girl in the background:

Liz said she was a little nervous competing in her first show, but it was fun, even though she didn’t place. She learned a lot and started training harder for her next show in April, the WBFF Fitness Atlantic.

Contest Prep

Two Scoops: After the Monster Mash in November, you had five months to prepare for your next show. What did your preparation look like?
Liz: My training has been changing on a monthly basis. I am still pretty new at this so I am still learning as I go. Contest prep is 3 months long. The first month I am working on building a strong muscle base – high weight, low reps. My diet is high in all the macros: protein, starches, fat, fruits & vegetables.

Two Scoops: I don’t know what a vegetable is, but sounds good. Two months out?
Liz: Month two training is a mix of building and cutting. The number of sets and reps I do increase, and I start decreasing the amount of carbs in my diet. I also limit my intake of nuts and nut butter to a few times per week.

Two Scoops: How does your boyfriend feel about you limiting your intake of nuts?
Liz: (…) So anyway, the month before the show I am focusing on cutting. Training volume increases, especially cardio. I do both steady state, and HIIT conditioning throughout the 3 months, but volume is heavily increased during the final month.

Here is selfie from her instagram (@emolano), 25 days out from the show:
Abs looking pretty good in this! I am also fairly certain there is enough underboob in these photos to make them fappable.

Two Scoops: An increase in cardio huh? That sounds horrible. What about your diet the last month?
Liz: Month 3 diet I start cycling my carbs: some days I’ll have no carbs…

Two Scoops: Sounds good to me.
Liz: Some days only a couple servings, with a carb load one or two days a week. This keeps my body guessing. I also completely cut out nuts and nut butters. I get all my fats from oils.

Two Scoops: I got some nut butter for you.
Liz: It wasn’t funny the first time Tony, it isn’t funny now.

Two Scoops: Yes it is. I would know, I do this for a living.
Liz: You don’t make any money of this website do you?

Two Scoops: Hey, who is asking the questions here? Me. Now, What else can you tell me about your diet the month leading up? What kind of protein we talking?

Diet

Liz: The month before the show I add in a lot of white fish for lean protein, and I limit egg white consumption to avoid bloating.

Two Scoops: I didn’t know egg whites caused bloating. Is that something you noticed about yourself personally, or is it universal?
Liz: Not everybody will notice it, but many of the girls I train with do, including myself.

Two Scoops: Never knew. What about carbs?
Liz: I am very carb-sensitive, so I don’t bother with oatmeal or ezekiel bread or things like that. Brown rice is okay because it’s gluten free, but I mostly stick to sweet potato, squash, and occassionaly quinoa.

Two Scoops: “Quinoa" sounds like something you would get from Whole Foods, I am afraid to go there in case it turns me into a vegan.
Liz: You’re an idiot.

Two Scoops: I prefer “idiot savant." Now let’s talk about the real issue: supplements. What you on girl?
Liz: I take a multi vitamin, and supplement that with Vitamin D, glucosamine, fish oil (omega 3 only, not 6 or 9), BCAAs, and glutamine. I take creatine in the Off Season.

Two Scoops: Girls who take creatine give me boners.
Liz: No surprise, you’ve had a boner this entire interview.

Two Scoops: Very observant Liz. What about Protein supplements?
Liz: No Whey Protein for the whole contest prep. It bloats me, plus I prefer to get more nutrients from whole food sources, especially important while cutting.

Two Scoops: Fucking hell woman! No protein shakes? I’ve had 3 just while we have been sitting here. What about meal timing?
Liz: I eat 6 small meals per day and never eat less than 3oz protein with every meal.

Two Scoops: 3oz protein?
Liz: Girls are different than boys.

Two Scoops: I have a boner.
Liz: Exactly.

Training

Two Scoops: What does your training split look like?
Liz: I work off a seven day split: Day 1: Legs Day 2: Chest & Triceps Day 3: Back & Biceps Day 4: Legs Day 5: Shoulders & Core Day 6: Full Body - High volume workout (50-100 reps). It is a mix of compound movements (Pull-ups, Tire Flips, Squat Press, Battle Ropes) and isolations excercises (curls, dips, hip adduction and abduction). Day 7: Off

On leg days, my cardio is always steady state. If I am on machines, I am on the stairmill or bike on low resist…

Two Scoops: I am going to stop you there. “Cardio" is not spoken here. Anything else we should know about you?
Liz: I am studying now to become a NASM Certified trainer!

Two Scoops: That is great! Congrats on your successes, you can tell all the hard work is paying off. Good luck moving forward and keep us updated!
Liz: Thank you Tony! Two Scoops!

Elizabeth looking stunning backstage before the WBFF Fitness Atlantic:

I didn’t know you could get such fancy attire from Amazon.com…

Unfortunately, Liz didn’t place at the WBFF show either. In an email, Liz wrote me:

"I don’t know how I placed in the first two shows, since they really only award top 5. The Monster Mash show was technically my first, but it was so small scale that it hardly compares to WBFF"

It’s OK Liz, I think your Instagram is still a winner in my book (I’m serious Two Scoopers, follow this chick. Here is a link if you are on a desktop: @emolano)

With her gratuitous ass shots out of the way, Liz was already preparing for her next show just two weeks later, the Fitness Universe Tour - New England.

Liz wrote:

Less than two weeks after my last show, I let my amazing coach @janellenicolo and #bodyambition teammate @belabody convince me to push through and compete again at #fitnessamerica. With their support, I pulled of some sweet #themewear and a top 5 placement!! Could not be happier to see the last few months of hard #training and dieting come to fruition. This is only the beginning. #instafit #fitbod #fitfam #fitspiration #igfitnessinspiration #fitnessnewengland #bikinibody @ravishsands thank you so much for gorgeous suit!

The overwhelming use of hashtags aside, this is an awesome accomplishment! Love seeing Two Scoopers doing big things. Here is Liz with her trophy:

Liz, on stage, in a watermarked photo, because Tony don’t pay for that:

Have another:

Looks like all that training really paid off! Her obliques are looking amazing, great definition in her arms, but perhaps what is most impressive, is the amount of size she was able to add on to her chest in just 5 months. Some seriously impressive work.

I like to delude myself into thinking all my readers look like this:

Congratulations on her accomplishments. Can’t wait to fap see what she will do next. Follow her ass on Instagram @emolano.

- Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli

 


This Woman has Put Her Husband in a Shitty Situation

Notice anything wrong 21 seconds into this video?

In case you missed it:

Close the door bro, come on.

-Tony “Too Poops" Muscoli

 
1 note

Posted at 1:21pm
Tagged Home Fitness

 


When a Girl Sits on a Guy’s Hip When He is Benching…

image

If this is true, why is this asshole only benching 135 lbs?

-Tony

Thanks to Rip Ross for the tip.

 
10 notes

Posted at 11:24am
Tagged Bench Press Strength

 


How to Pack for EDC with Dom Mazzetti

Since you already all got shredded up for Ultra, you are ready for Summer Music Festival Season:

Nailed it, again. I feel like Dom and Tony would be swolebros.

 
2 notes

Posted at 11:21am
Tagged Dom Mazzetti EDC Electric Daisy Carnival

 


Arnold Gets Hit On Head With Big Penis, Then Fingers Girl

People who do not idolize Arnold confuse me.

-Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli

 


Chick Gets Leveled in Lingerie Football League

If you were ever wondering how to make it on Two Scoops as a girl, this is it. Put on a bikini, show off your abs, and straight flatten a bitch.

As a girl, you don’t have to have big muscles to be a Two Scooper, you just have to like big weights (and it doesn’t hurt to be hot).

By the way, how does the Lingerie Football League stay in business? Do people come watch the games? I imagine it is like your typical strip club patrons: a few rowdy regulars and bachelor parties cheering for somebody to get naked, while a bunch of creepy elderly gentleman - possibly homeless men - sit in the back of the venue rubbing one out.

Is the LFL televised? Like Channel 6969 on Direct TV or something? Do you think there are people who actually follow a team like the Los Angeles Temptation through their season? I am incredibly intrigued. Maybe I’ll start watching the LFL… you know, for science.

- Tony “Two Scoops" Muscoli

 


The Top 10 Reasons Not To Go For A Jog

But this one goes all the way to 11 (I am getting really good with Microsoft Paint).

- Tony

 
8 notes

Posted at 2:12am
Tagged Cardio Running Sucks

 


What Happens Every Time I Get Naked with a Girl


Just how I like my women… shaken, not stirring. #domesticviolencejokesarenotfunnybuttheyarekindofalittlebit


Furrgen Bitch.

-Tony