This is a sign that appeared in an Army base outside the mess, near the staff offices.
Clearly they take their pens seriously in the Army, but they also regurgitated some important Two Scoops Doctrine (Old Testament shit):
Skinny = Ugly.
If you have learned anything from this blog, it is that being skinny is shit. And if ‘skinny’ is inversely related to ‘huge’, then the Army might also concur with the hypothesis that Huge = Good Looking. So you see, I am not the only one preaching protein here. Now get off of your ass and go lift, because deductive reasoning would conclude that Skinny = ugly.
Ugly = no love
No love = no marriage
No marriage = no children
No children = alone
Alone = depression
Depression = sickness
Sickness = death
Lesson: Don’t be skinny, you will die.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
