Two Scoops. Get Huge.

Boston Globe - A study, which surveyed 530 women who volunteered to answer questions about their sexual feelings when exercising, found that 370 of the survey respondents reported experiencing either an orgasm or sexual pleasure when they exercised. About one-third of that group said they occasionally had all-out orgasms most often while doing abdominal exercises, which strengthen core muscles, as well as climbing ropes, weight lifting or running.

Gentlemen, this is wonderful news! Gone, now, are the days when men would slave away, struggling to provide their lady partners with that elusive female orgasm. Now you can just tell one in every three girls you sleep with, “hey, sorry I came so fast. Just go do sit-ups until you finish too.” Problem solved. I think I may have just saved a few marriages.

How to properly target the abdominal muscles.

Learning that women can have orgasms from exercise is a total game changer! How many times have you found yourself in this situation:
Your significant other is horny, but you have to watch Sunday Night Football. For whatever reason, your girl says that giving you bo-bobs while you watch the game isn’t going to cut it. Knowing what we know now, this is a perfectly legitimate response:

“Go do some abdominal exercises. I’ll be with you in a minute. I need to watch Ray Lewis murder somebody else before he retires.”

Sit-ups are the perfect solution! Your girl gets off while she gets a workout - talk about two birds!

Everybody wins: she is sexually content, she doesn’t feel as guilty for sneaking a piece of cheesecake for breakfast, and you got to watch Andrew Luck’s luck run out.

Now that I have saved you thousands of dollars in couples therapy, please send donation inquiries to tonymuscoli@gmail.com.

Sincerely,
Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

Thanks to James G. Guttershot for the article.

This is Arnold’s workout routine from when he was at his peak, competing in Mr Olympia. Attempting this is not recommended for beginners, this is an advanced training routine as performed by the world’s premier bodybuilder at the top of his game. My Monday workout consists of exactly 1/5 of his Monday workout and I am sore as fuck for the 3 days. He did this Monday, Wednesday, AND Friday. So according to my meathead math, Arnold worked out approximately 15x harder than I do. Steroids are a hell of a drug.

MON, WED, FRI

Chest

Bench Press: 5 sets, 6-10 reps

Flat bench flies: 5 sets, 6-10 reps

Incline bench press: 6 sets, 6-10 reps

Cable crossovers: 6 sets, 10-12 reps

Dips: 5 sets to failure

Dumbbell pullovers: 5 sets, 10-12 reps

Back

Front wide-grip chin-ups 6 sets to failure

T-bar rows: 5 sets, 6-10 reps

Seated pulley rows: 6 sets, 6-10 reps

One-arm dumbbell rows: 5 sets, 6-10 reps

Straight-leg deadlifts: 6 sets, 15 reps

Legs

Squats: 6 sets, 8-12 reps

Leg presses: 6 sets, 8-12 reps

Leg extensions: 6 sets, 12-15 reps

Leg curls: 6 sets, 10-12 reps

Barbell lunges: 5 sets, 15 reps

Calves

Standing calf raises: 10 sets, 10 reps

Seated calf raises: 8 sets, 15 reps

One-legged calf raises (holding dumbbells): 6 sets, 12 reps

Forearms

Wrist curls (forearms on knees): 4 sets, 10 reps

Reverse barbell curls: 4 sets, 8 reps

Wright roller machine: 1 set to failure

Abs

30 mins of various exercises in non specific order

TUES, THURS, SAT

Biceps

Barbel Curls: 6 sets, 6-10 reps

Seated Dumbell Curls: 6 sets, 6-10 reps

Dumbell concentration Curls: 6 sets, 6-10 reps

Triceps

Close Grip Bench Press: 6 sets, 6-10 reps

Pushdowns: 6 sets, 6-10 reps

Barbell French Press: 6 sets, 6-10 reps

One arm dumbell tricep extensions: 6 sets, 6-10 reps

Shoulders

Seated Barbell Press: 5 sets, 6-10 reps

Lateral Raises: 6 sets, 6-10 reps

Rear Delt Raises: 5 sets, 6-10 reps

Cable Lateral Raises: 5 sets, 10-12 reps

Calves, forearms, Abs

Same as Mon,Wed, Fri

That’s it… you are getting verrry sleepy… looooOOOook into my bicep veins.

-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli

(Source: hurtinbombs)