No. No? NO! NO. NO. Yes. No?! NO! I don’t know how many different ways I can say it. Don’t do it. Just don’t. Having your wife, girlfriend, hook-up, or even some-girl-you-sometimes-stare-at when-she-isn’t-looking-at-you with you at the gym is a terrible idea. You are constantly trying to either ignore or impress this woman and while you are thinking about crushing box, you are forgetting to do what you came to do - CRUSH WEIGHT. That is why whenever my buddy says, “hey do you mind if Susan comes to the gym with us today?”
I respond, “First of all, why is your girlfriend named Susan? And, No.”
I’ve tried it before, bringing a girl to the gym, and I won’t do it again. I get all self-conscious about being my normal macho self - I don’t feel right about flexing and grunting all over the place. Meanwhile she is all self-conscious about swoobs or having her mascara run or whatever girls worry about. I know what you are thinking though, “But Tony, when else do I get to see my girl in yoga pants?” I solved that conundrum long ago: Just make yoga pants the standard household uniform, strictly enforce this rule. That way you don’t have to bring her to the gym just to see how awesome that ass looks in them yoga pants.
I fucking love yoga pants as much as the next guy, but rules are rules. No GFs, sorry.
“The gym is my version of church, and I’m a deeply religious man in this sense”
-James Fell (foxnews.com)
This dude is talking about women ruining the sanctity of the gym, and I am totally on board. I have a strict no-estrogen policy when it comes to free weights.
In the meantime, here are more pictures of yoga pants in case you forgot what they looked like. You’re welcome.
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
P.S. Thanks to our reader, “Dickvein,” for sending in the quote. I love it when Two Scoopers send shit in, means I don’t have to do as much work. I love it even more when they sign their emails with awesome names like “Dickvein.” Keep up the good work. Free Two Scoops T-Shirt (we’ll make one up) to the person who signs their email with a better name than ‘Dickvein’ (probably not possible).
