I know pictures of Vin Diesel riding his bike around were posted on other sites a few weeks ago (I first saw them on Barstool), but I was at a cabin in the Oregonese Woods working on perfecting my Squat technique from a former member of the U.S. Navy Seal Powerlifting team when they came out, so I didn’t have time for this shit… but now I do.
Anyway, I’ve seen tons of comments calling Vin Diesel and his cronies a “juiced up gay tricycle gang” - or something to that effect. First of all, these guys are not tricycling, they are bi. Secondly, how does having an entourage with an average bicep circumference of 20+ inches make you gay?
Here are a few of my favorites:
“Nothing says G-A-Y as a few muscleheads taking in the sun, cruising for guys. A little sausage-fest afterwards I’m sure.” -5MinuteMajor
“why does it seem like everyone and their brother has a juiced up guido in their posse……..lube monkey ?” -Evil One
“You see them rollin’
They Flamin’” -Whistlez_GO_WOOOOO
But you know what I hear? Envy. Sounds like a bunch of desk jockeys are a little jealous that Vin is not only jacked, but he has sweet jacked friends. You think we at Two Scoops hang out with little people? No. We only surround ourselves with greatness, and by greatness I mean 18+ inch biceps - MINIMUM.
How can you expect people to take you seriously if you don’t roll with a meathead posse? When you are famous there are two options:
- Be Huge. Roll with other huge dudes.
- Be Rich. Pay huge dudes to hang out with you.
Vin Diesel is a perfect example of #1. Here is a perfect example of #2:
This is Geri Halliwell with her personal trainer and bodygaurd. Now, I don’t know who Geri Halliwell is, I just typed “big bodygaurd” into Google and found this, but it proves my point nicely. To respond to Evil One’s comment above, it isn’t that everybody seems to have a juicer in their posse, it is that everybody NEEDS to have a juicer in their posse.
So if you need a jacked dude to increase the legitimacy of your entourage, you can hire TwoScoops writers at $100 an hour to hang out with you and be awesome. Discounts for hot chicks looking for “personal trainers” or “bodygaurds.”
-Tony “Two Scoops” Muscoli
